just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
