How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
