Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
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you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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