My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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