She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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