then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Randomize
