I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
