Ambien. No doubt about it.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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