so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
