I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
