i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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