Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
