I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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