Cold hands, warm shart.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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