Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
