Moan for me like Helen Keller
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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