We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Someone signed my nipple.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
