I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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