They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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