I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
