I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
