yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
