I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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