There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
