is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
This house was built for laser tag.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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