I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I bet he comes in French.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Just invented taco cereal.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize