They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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