Cold hands, warm shart.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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