one two three fourrrrnication!
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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