sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
