The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
