..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
