i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
