So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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