my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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