I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
