cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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