Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
