Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
