508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
