Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
