I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
