There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Barsexuality is the new black.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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