you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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