Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
