PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
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