I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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