oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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