Pregnant stripper...not hot.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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