In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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