dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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