I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
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Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
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Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
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