Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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