you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I want her autograph on my taint
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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