Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
