So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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