Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
