glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
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