The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
