i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
