Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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