i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
P.S. I can't hear my feet
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
