I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
She's the barista slut.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
