Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize